New Year’s Resolutions and Goals
As we ponder on our New Year’s resolutions, perhaps it would be instructive to understand exactly what a resolution is.
1 – an act or an instance of resolving,
2 – the condition or quality of being resolute; firmness or determination,
3 – something resolved or determined; decision.
Using these definitions, we understand that we have made a decision about a course of action or a path we want to pursue going forward, and we are determined to do it. That is a wonderful place to start any new endeavor.
But if we are being honest with ourselves, often we find we are looking at a resolution or goal that didn’t happen last year, or perhaps, for many years. We all have those nagging habits we can’t seem to change, no matter how determined or resolute we feel. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And if all it took was willpower, none of us would ever need to do this reflection and process.
Every client I serve has something they just can’t master or change alone. This happens to literally EVERYONE in some area of their life (often many areas of their lives). Coaches also need help with their difficult habits. So we use coaches!
You may think your spouse, family member, or close friend can help you be accountable enough to make it work this time, but unless they are a coach, they are as much in the dark as you are.
There is no shame here – it is the human experience. It is NOT a personal character flaw nor reason for embarrassment. People are designed to need others' help along the mortal journey. It is when we recede and isolate that we learn willpower is NOT the answer.
If you could do this alone, you would have done it already! There is something that is not available to you currently that will make this totally doable. This is where coaches are so important. They know what questions to ask that will access what is holding you back or stopping your progress. They can help you identify things that you probably have no clue are part of the problem, and how to work on those issues. Your path is like the picture - somewhat defined, but also obscured. It may have been difficult in the past, with the weight of it bending and shaping you like the trees. And there are probably several habits that have kept you safe, like the fence. But you still can't see the end, or even very far ahead. Coaches walk with you and help you see where to go next. They make sure you are never alone.
As a gift to yourself, and everyone who is in your circles of influence, consider working with a coach this year. You can learn how to replace undesirable habits with others that will propel you forward. You can understand how to overcome the undesirable aspects of your life, or just find greater peace, joy, and fulfillment. Let this be your resolution for 2023. Be resolute. Be determined. Be nurturing to yourself, and then enjoy the outcomes. YOU ARE WORTH IT!